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James Gregory
Vintage Comedy
"Fill It Up"
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James Gregory

Greetings!

Well!  According to recent surveys, such as "people on the street" interviews, most Americans don't even know and/or can't even define what the fiscal cliff is - what it means. So I decided to conduct my own survey among the people I know and come in contact with on a daily basis. Following are some of the answers to the question, "What is your opinion of the fiscal cliff?"

A good friend and my co-worker said, "I've never been mountain climbing, but my brother loves bungee jumping." I asked several of my liberal friends and they all had the same opinion, "It's George Bush's fault." When I asked my conservative buddy's opinion, he said, "I haven't voted in the presidential election since 2004, I'm a conservative. But, I know of 535 people I wish would fall off a cliff."

I asked my cousin Luther his opinion of the fiscal cliff. He said, "I get a physical once a year, especially since my bypass." I said, "No! No! Cliff! Cliff!" He said, "Oh yeah. Montgomery Clift. He was in that movie ‘A Place In The Sun'." Then he said, "Let's go fishing sometime. How about Sunday after church?"

There are two other guys I've known for years and years. One works at the car wash and the other cleans my yard. When I asked their opinions of the fiscal cliff, they both answered the same. "No hablo inglés."

Continuing with my informal survey, I asked several people of the 47% who pay absolutely no Federal income tax, "What should we do about the fiscal cliff?" Their answer, "The top 2% should pay more taxes." Then I asked people who are neither in the bottom 47% or the top 2% what should be done. Their answer, "The top 2% should pay more taxes."

I asked a neighbor, not a close friend - just a neighbor, who is in the top 2% what he thinks should be done about the fiscal cliff. He said, "To tell you the truth, I haven't had much time to think about it. I'm too busy working, turning a profit and making money." The heartless bastard!

So, Rejoice America, Rejoice! Ninety-eight percent of us won't have to worry about the fiscal cliff if the top two percent will just pay more taxes. See how easy that is? And fair too, right?

The next time one of the networks decides to do a "man on the street" opinion survey, they should ask about the definition of "infrastructure" or "transparency." The results will be the same as "fiscal cliff." Most people think it's important, but don't know what the hell it really means. Our country is in trouble. Not because our elected officials are ignorant, but because they know we are.

Unfortunately - or fortunately, depending on one's perspective - idiots are now the majority. Their numbers are growing. To understand what is happening to this once great nation, you need to read George Orwell's "Animal Farm." The pigs are at the trough!

I respect the presidency. This is my country. I'm an American. Barack Obama is the President of the United States, and for the next four years, he's my president too. In the meantime, I've got to keep working. My goal is to eventually be one of those evil millionaires.

Until next time,
God bless everybody and God bless America!


 


James Gregory Tour Dates
Coming up, I'll be at:

December 28 and 29: Von Braun Center Playhouse

January 10 in Hampton, SC at the Palmetto Theatre

January 11 in Brunswick, GA at the Ritz Theatre

January 12 in Savannah, GA at the Savannah Theatre.

Click here for details and other shows!
 


Download James on iTunes

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Beef Stew for the Brain
Beef Stew for the Brain, is my best ever. A full hour-and-a-half, including bonus features and extras.

The entire project was filmed in high definition and includes the most requested comedy routine of all time the Fat Woman After Dinner.

We're more excited about this than any in the past. This DVD would not be available if not for my good friends John Boy & Billy on The Big Show.

Order Beef Stew for the Brain