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James Gregory
Vintage Comedy
"Middle East Position"
on YouTube
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(615) 646-9068

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James Gregory


Most consumers know that ground beef can contain beef from hundreds of animals from across the globe. Now the same is true for prime cuts. A substance called "meat glue" is used to super-glue small pieces of meat together. Meat glues are made from cultivated bacteria and from animal blood plasma.

Just to be safe, stay away from red meat!

China is the largest producer of pigs. The CDC tells us that more than 100 viruses come to the US each year from China through pigs. Some of those viruses can prove to be downright dangerous to humans. One daily serving of processed meat (1 hot dog or 2 slices of bacon) was associated with a 20% increase in risk of premature death.

Just to be safe, stay away from pork!

Half the chemicals tested in apples are neuro toxins and may cause brain damage. Ninety-four percent of pears are contaminated. Even if you peel them, you're still in danger, as the chemicals can soak through the peel. Blueberries and strawberries contain 13 different types of pesticides that can cause harm to the nervous system, interrupt hormone production and add to a higher risk of getting cancer.

Just to be safe, stay away from fruit!

The widely used product "Roundup" isn't only toxic to weeds, but also to people - especially men. "Roundup" kills testicle cells and significantly lowers testosterone levels. According to Newsweek magazine, a professional skater claims that her health was "destroyed" after exposure to pesticides sprayed on a neighbor's lawn. (Her dog died the same day.) According to a recent article in Reader's Digest, your yard could be toxic.

Just to be safe, stay away from grass!

A little boy was suspended from school because he shaped a breakfast pastry to look like a gun. Another kid was sent home because, by using his thumb and forefinger, he was pretending to play with a gun.

The city of Roswell, GA is proposing a law to require permits (licenses) for people to fire weapons such as BB guns and/or air rifles.

The streets of Chicago are now roamed by an estimated 100,000 gang members belonging to about 620 gangs. The turf wars and drug-related violence are expected to kill some 500 people this year. The vast majority of the gang members come from broken black families and single moms.

Stay away from guns, toy guns, cinnamon rolls shaped like a gun and fingers and thumbs that might look like a gun.

Just to be safe, stay away from Chicago!

A Florida high school went into lockdown after chemistry students brought thermometers to school as part of a lesson assignment. Realizing that thermometers contain mercury, school officials became alarmed, citing the toxicity of mercury. School officials locked 2,200 students in their classes and summoned a Haz-Mat (emergency responder) team.

An Oregon grade school principal suggested in a newspaper interview that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches might be racially and culturally offensive. "What about Somali or Hispanic students who might not eat sandwiches?" Verenice Gutierrez told the Portland Tribune.

In Colorado, a 6 year old boy was suspended from school for 3 days after school officials said he told a little girl "I'm sexy and I know it" - a line from a popular song.

Just to be safe, stay away from school!

There's another famous song, "Send in the Clowns," which includes the following words:

"Don't you love farce?
There ought to be clowns
Quick, send in the clowns
Don't bother, they're here!"

Until next time,
God bless everybody and God bless America!

James Gregory Tour Dates
Coming up, I'll be in Virginia North Carolina, Kentucky, Alabama, Georgia and Tennessee. Click here for details. -James

Download James on iTunes

Click below to download individual comedy routines or full CD's from iTunes and...

Beef Stew for the Brain
Beef Stew for the Brain, is my best ever. A full hour-and-a-half, including bonus features and extras.

The entire project was filmed in high definition and includes the most requested comedy routine of all time the Fat Woman After Dinner.

We're more excited about this than any in the past. This DVD would not be available if not for my good friends John Boy & Billy on The Big Show.

Order Beef Stew for the Brain